


intellectuals

by kat_chan02



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: ALSO not beta read, Akaashi Keiji is Bad at Feelings, Alternate Universe - College/University, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Minor Akaashi Keiji/Kozume Kenma, Minor Akaashi Keiji/Kuroo Tetsurou, Platonic BokuAkaKuroKen, We, bokuto is a bimbo, gay panics soon?, help akaashi please, hereee we gooo, how many times do you think bokuto will get akaashi's name wrong?, literally everyone has a crush on akaashi, me included lol, owl puns, this is where things get... interesting, very bad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:49:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28792722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kat_chan02/pseuds/kat_chan02
Summary: Akaashi considers himself a fairly intelligent human so he finds it difficult to grasp how he's able to surround himself with idiots.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added
Comments: 6
Kudos: 12





	1. we don't need the weed

Akaashi was glad he finally got his mother off his case. This was his life. And he doesn't mind that his new college roommate seemed a bit sketchy and the room kind of smelt like marijuana. Since Kuroo seemed like a nice guy and Akaashi had nothing against him. Though his mother seemed like she did before they even introduced themselves. She nearly went to the housing department until Keiji stopped her and sent her on her way. 

Akaashi was lugging another box to his dorm room as he wished his mother could have stayed to help him do that. As he got to his door he pushed down the handle with his elbow. He walked in and spied Kuroo scrawn out on his bed. He sat up when he heard Akaashi shuffle in. 

"Hey," he greeted and Akaashi sent a nod to him.

Kuroo made his way to Akaashi and grabbed the box from him. 

"Jesus, what do you have in here?" Kuroo strolled over to Akaashi's bed and placed it on the floor next to it. 

"Books," 

"I think all of your stuff is books," 

Akaashi just hummed, watching as Kuroo went back to his bed.

"Okay, so how much on a scale of one to ten did I freak out your mom?"

Placing a box on his bed, Akaashi let out an airy chuckle, "Don't worry about my mother." He said, "She's hard to impress." 

"Ah, yes. Mothers do be like that." Kuroo said, "Even if your mom didn't like it, do you like the room? Me and my friend decorated it. The volleyball posters are his doing." 

"I think it's interesting." 

Kuroo obviously couldn't stop the grin that spread across his face. 

Akaashi let out a sigh of relief and a silence fell around them. Akaashi took that time to sort out and unpack his belongings. He felt Kuroo's stare on him and it made him uneasy. 

"Do you need any help with that?" Kuroo asked after a while, "I'm feeling kinda useless here." 

"No, it's alright, thanks. There's not that much to unpack anyway. Just clothes and books." Akaashi said. 

"So I won't find anything that says something about you? Like some drugs or a gun or something?" 

He chuckled and shook his head, "You won't,"

"Damn," Kuroo smirked, "Come on, 'Kaashi. Give me something. You can't stay mysterious forever. All I know is that you're a bookworm." 

"There's really nothing to tell," a tinge of a smile hinted Akaashi's lips. 

"Dammit! I wanted an interesting roommate. I asked for an interesting roommate!"

Akaashi decided to humor him, "I'm not interesting. Sorry, Kuroo-san." He said, "Never done drugs, never broken any rules, never shot a person with a gun-" 

"I haven't done that either."

"Never handled a gun..." 

Kuroo laughed, "Aw, you're so innocent. I wanna protect that. I'll protect you with my life." He smiled at Akaashi, "For I am your guardian angel. But you can't haul yourself up in here with a book whenever you have free time. I'm gonna take you to parties and we are going to have so much fun."

"No, thank you."

"You are going to turn your nose up at your books and innocence by the time I leave. You won't know what it is." 

"I thought you said you're going to protect me," Akaashi turned back with an amused smile on his face. 

"Changed my mind. Screw innocence!"

"Who's to say I'm innocent though? You don't know me. I might be the most interesting, uninnocent guy ever."

Kuroo laughed, "I like you, Akaashi." he said. "I think we are going to have tonnes of fun." 

"Obvoiusly since I'm so much fun. You don't know what you're in for." Akaashi deadpanned. 

"Whey! That's the spirit!"

"I don't want your weed though, just to make that clear. We can have fun without that." 

Kuroo looked at him with a smirk, "I wanna get to know you, not your drug preferences."

"Big no to drugs is my preference."

"Don't do drugs kid."

"I'm pretty certain that's what your mother said when you came here,"

"And I bet your 'mother' had a heart attack when she came in here." 

"How much? Since she did."

"I never pay up, Akaashi."

Akaashi smiled as he placed some books on a next to empty bookcase. All except 'owl puns' and 'chemistry puns'.

Oh god, he thought. 

"Don't worry, despite my mysterious, sexy bad boy look, I am a very good influence." Kuroo said. 

"Even if you say so yourself."

Kuroo grinned, "I'm as modest as I am kind."

"I'm expecting no kindness from you in the future." 

"What?! I'm probably the kindest person you'd ever meet. You don't know how lucky you are to have a roommate like me." Kuroo pointed at himself. "The gods obviously love you to be put with me."

"Why wouldn't the gods love me? I'm a star pupil." Akaashi said. 

"I get the vibes everybody loves you."

"Obviously,"

"I mean, you're drop-dead gorgeous so I bet you have herds of girls running after you."

"No," Akaashi felt his cheeks burn. He wasn't used to being so directly complimented. 

"Oh god, please don't say you have a girlfriend. I think I might die of jealousy." Kuroo complained, Akaashi was ready to laugh but seeing the seriousness on Kuroo's face made him doubt. 

"I've know you for literally half an hour, there's no need for you to be jealous." 

"So no girlfriend?"

"No girlfriend." 

"Phew, good." Kuroo glanced up at the wall clock and said, "Speaking of dating, I gotta go. I got a special date with someone I've been trying to get for ages. And I'm late. Shit!" He bounced off his bed and stumbled to get his shoes, "I'm gonna be killed. Jesus. Before I go, and if I never see you again I wanna say it's been nice to speak to someone like that. If it was my best friend, he'd just argue he was better than me... so... yeah. See ya later, Akaashi."

"Bye, Kuroo-san."

"Well. Love ya and leave ya!" Kuroo blew a kiss and shouted, "Later, Akaashi!" As he sprinted out the room. 


	2. where is bo? who is bo? why is bo?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kenma is here, but still no bokutooo

**From:** **Kenma Kozume @ [2:34pm** **]**   
**To: Keiji Akaashi**   
_got this crazy roommate. he won't shut up. i don't think he understands i don't want to talk about his favourite owls with him. hope you got better than me -_-_

**From: Keiji Akaashi @ [2:42pm]**   
**To:** **Kenma** **Kozume**   
_Hi. My roommate seems alright, he was easy to talk to anyway. My mother freaked out when she saw him though, he just gives off those vibes._   
_I'm certain your roommate isn't as bad as you let off to be. He'll grown on you, I'm sure. Curious, what's his favourite owl?_

**From** : **Kenma Kozume @ [2:45pm]**  
 **To:** **Keiji** **Akaashi**  
 _ugh. don't get me started. i've been here for TWO HOURS so far and im fed up. he said his favourite owl is a great horned owl. i googled it and i think he's trying to do an impression of one, his hair is crazy._  
 _ur mom always freaks about stuff like that, did u tell her to chill this time?_

**From: Keiji Akaashi @ [2:49pm]**   
**To:** **Kenma** **Kozume**   
_I did tell her to calm down then I asked her to leave so I could unpack myself._   
_(Interested in your roommates hair, by the way.)_

**From: Kenma Kozume @ [2:50pm]**   
**To: Keiji Akaashi**   
_lmao good. independence._   
_(don't be)_

**From: Keiji Akaashi @ [2:52pm]**   
**To:** **Kenma** **Kozume**   
_Yes, I agree. I need to be more independent._   
_(okay :/ )_

**From: Kenma Kozume @ [2:53pm]**   
**To:** **Keiji** **Akaashi**   
_yh_   
_also my roommate is pulling out his favourite socks to show me_   
_???_   
_help_   
_oh he plays volleyball_   
_do u think if i told him i used to play he'd want me to play with him?_   
_im not going to._

**From: Kenma Kozume @ [2:55pm]**   
**To:** **Keiji** **Akaashi**   
_ok help_   
_i told him_   
_now he's hassling me_   
_i don't want to play with him keiji_   
_too tiring_   
_help_

**From: Keiji Akaashi @ [2:55pm]**   
**To:** **Kenma** **Kozume**   
_..._   
_This is where I leave you_

**From: Kenma Kozume @ [2:55pm]**   
**To:** **Keiji** **Akaashi**   
_WHAT_   
_NO_   
_DONT YOU LEAVE_   
_HELSP_   
_SOSOSOSOSOSOSOS_   
_KEIJIIIIIIIIIII_

Akaashi powered off his phone, feeling it vibrate from ever text he got.

Back in the first year of high school, he and Kenma met whilst doing a computer programming course that was being held at Nekoma highschool. They got randomly paired together and won first place (they were both happy with that, and Akaashi doesn't even like computing!). They had exchanged numbers and a friendship grew from that.

Kenma is different in real life than on text. So whenever they met up, they'd often find themselves in an easy silence. Which is fine with Akaashi, he likes silence and he's reassured Kenma that over the years.

Akaashi is very fond of the friendship he has with Kenma, he'd even go as far as calling him his best friend.

**From: Keiji Akaashi @ [3:01pm]**   
**To:** **Kenma** **Kozume**   
_I'm in room 223. Come if you'd like._

**From: Kenma Kozume @ [3:01pm]**   
**To: Keiji Akaashi**   
_THABK YOU_   
_finally peace and quiet_   
_i'll be there when i shake my roommate off me_

It only took a few minutes for Kenma to arrive. When he did, Akaashi opened the door after the first knock.

"You're two doors away from me," Kenma mumbled, he looked around the groaned, "Ugh, what is this room?"

"Are you just going to stand there or are you coming in?" Akaashi watched as Kenma shrink into his hoodie. Akaashi pulled his sleeve and guided him in, he pointed to his bed and Kenma made his way over to it.

"I said that I liked the room to my roommate and he seemed so proud I couldn't back out."

Kenma raised his eyebrows, "You're too nice, Keiji." he said, "My roommate knows I don't like the room. And I'm too scared to get my switch out. Bokuto is obviously the type of person to get excited too easily."

"So 'Bokuto' is your roommate?"

Kenma hummed, "I guess I'll have someone to play Mario Kart with now though. There's a huge TV in there." he pulled out his phone from his pocket, "But I swear if he breaks it, no matter how much muscle he has, I will not hesitate to hit him."

Akaashi laughed and made his way to the closet.

"You'll have to introduce me," he said.

Kenma hummed, "You'll probably be more patient with him than I am. He's like an excited puppy but I'm more of a cat person."

Akaashi looked back at Kenma, his head was in his phone. He smiled, "You're being quite talkative today,"

Kenma grunted, "I've spent too much time time with him already." he huffed then said, "His good energy vibes are contagious."

Akaashi chuckled then continued to pack away his stuff. After a few moments, Kenma mumbled something about if he could help Akaashi with anything. Akaashi declined, telling him he was fine.

Though finding space in the closet proved difficult. All of Kuroo's... _elaborate_ clothing was taking up most the space.

Akaashi practically hit himself when he realised he had packed like he was going to a funeral every day, not college. 

About four o'clock, Kuroo came sauntering back in, humming.

"Akaaaashi!" he said, "I was thinking-" his eyes landed on someone who was not Akaashi. "Oho? Is that who I think it is?"

Akaashi turned around to find Kuroo walking to his bed where Kenma was. Kenma groaned and looked up from his phone.

"Kenma! Haven't seen you in forever!"

"I saw you in high school, Kuro. And before you came here, you visited me every day."

"Forever!"

"I wish."

Kuroo rolled his eyes and they stared at each other for some time.

"It's good to see you anyway." he said, then he smiled and Kenma looked back to his phone.

"Mhm, you too."

There was a momentary silence before Kuroo said, "Well, you didn't tell me you knew my amazing roommate!"

Kenma huffed, "We met in high school." he said, "He's been a better friend than you."

"Akaashi, you hear this?" Kuroo ignored the insult that was thrown at him and pulled Akaashi towards him (and got promptly hit off).

Kuroo looked offended for a second then grinned, "Right, thanks. Now, I'm assuming you both are coming to me and Bo's party?" he asked, "We've been planning all summer-"

"Bokuto already asked me. I said no." Kenma said.

Kuroo looked stricken with shock for a second, "Are you really Kenma? Since when does Kenma make friends? First Akaashi then Bo? How do you know Bokuto? What happened to you?"

Kenma sighed, "He's my roommate, idiot."

"Oooooooh," Kuroo said, "Well, my offer still stands..."

He got a chorus of no's thrown his way.

"What?!" Kuroo said, "But... Akaashi, you said... I can take you..."

"No. No, I didn't. My mother would kill me if I went to a party."

"Too many people." Kenma said, "Too hot, too loud. Nowhere to plug my phone." (It's like he had planned these excuses never to go to a party.)

"Come on!" Kuroo groaned, "Akaashi, please! Your beauty would attract loads of girls for me,"

"Not. Happening."

"Yeah, you're right. Their attention would be on you, not me. You could come sit with me and my friends. Bo has this reserved room for us. It's for the cool people."

"Why on earth would you class yourself as a 'cool' person, Kuroo-san?"

"Excuse me, I am cool!" Kuroo said, "Kenma, tell him. You grew up with me."

Kenma didn't spare him a glance, "I'm not getting involved." he said.

Kuroo moaned, "But Kenma! Tell him! Stick up for me!"

"Not happening." Kenma replied and before Kuroo could hassle him, he said, "I'm leaving. My roommate should be gone by now." He stood up and shoved his hands into his pockets. "See you, Keiji."

"Bye," Akaashi replied, watching him shuffle to the door. "I'll text you."

"I'll keep you updated on the switch situation," then Kenma waved and left.

A silence loomed for a second before Kuroo said, "It's weird seeing him nowadays. He hasn't changed but he has. We've known each other for years." He sighed, "What other friends does he have that I don't know about? He never mentioned you,"

Akaashi waved him off before climbing onto his bed, "I'm not that mention worthy," he said.

"Yes, you are." Kuroo went to his own bed, "I think you're amazing so far. And I have very high standards." he looked at Akaashi and grinned, "So how about that party, hmm? Your mom won't know and what she doesn't know won't hurt her,"

"I don't know, Kuroo-san."

"Come on! Please!" He whined.

Akaashi didn't respond for a moment, contemplating the pros and cons. Kuroo mumbled another few pleads then Akaashi huffed, "Fine,"

Kuroo whooped in victory.

"But if I don't like it I'm leaving."

"That's a fair argument," Kuroo grinned, "However I can confirm that you will like it,"

Akaashi grumbled, "I already regret agreeing."

"Too late!" Kuroo smirked then said, "You got any plans for the rest of the day?"

"Honestly, I'm too tired to do anything but sleep."

"Are you hungry? I'll go run down to the campus shop and grab us something to eat. I'll pay to show my appreciation for such a great roommate and as a senpai."

Akaashi hummed into his pillow and raised his head to say, "If you do, get some onigiri."

"I'll just grab what I can see. Trust in my food choices, Akaashi." Kuroo said, "I'm wiser than I look,"

Keiji almost laughed (almost), "Right. Okay. Thanks."

Kuroo got up off his bed and put his shoes on. He was about to leave then he asked, "Hold on, you aren't allergic to anything are you?"

"No,"

"Mkay. Just in case," he grabbed his wallet and said, "Be back in ten!" and he blew a kiss as he left. 

Ten minutes turned into forty by the way. (Keiji was not okay with that. It had gone five by the time Kuroo got back, he was getting hungry. He'd eat anything Kuroo bought back, or a leg.)

Kuroo came bustling in soon enough, bag of goodies in hand. He quickly apologised, saying he had met 'Bokuto' at the store and that guy always distracted him.

As he settled himself on Akaashi's bed, he began asking questions about his life. Pointless questions like, 'why did you choose literature as your course? that's so boring' and 'what vegetable gives you anxiety?' whilst explaining why he couldn't eat tomatoes anymore (Akaashi was guilty of laughing about the story, Kuroo was not impressed).

Being questioned was usually a thing that Akaashi tried to avoid. But as he stuffed his face with onigiri that would have lasted him at least a week. Instant noodles that will not do any help to him (he was so surprised when Kuroo whipped out a kettle. "I'm a college student. I live on instant ramen, man.") and lots and lots of pudding pots, he honestly didn't mind.

(If you were wondering, Kuroo hates all the seed in tomatoes and he vividly describes that as a child his grandad said they were little spiders eggs.

Cabbage gives Akaashi anxiety. He refused to say anything but traumatic experience including a slug as a child.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> akaashi wants to meet bokuto. everybody is talking about him and he's feeling quite left out.
> 
> but do not worry! we see him next chapter!!!!!
> 
> lots of love, author-chan!!


	3. no bro. don't you bro me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hello bokuto you bimbo...

Saturday night came too quickly for Akaashi's liking. After a say of studying and reading, around 7 pm, Kuroo came stomping back in after hanging out with his friend, or best bro he called it. Akaashi had been hearing a lot of 'Bokuto' from Kenma so was surprised when Kuroo said he was his best friend.

Whilst getting ready, he wished once again he brought more suitable clothing. He eventually settled with a turtle neck and black jeans (he got a wolf whistle from Kuroo, who got a glare in return. Maybe skinny jeans wasn't the best idea).

By nine, Kuroo practically dragged Akaashi out and down the call before he could lock their door. He had to slip himself away to do so.

A few minutes later, he returned to Kuroo, hearing him before he saw him. He was having a very animated conversation with another man.

"Hey, Akaashi!" Kuroo called, "Come on!" Keiji stood next to him and Kuroo draped an arm around his shoulder. "This is my awesome roommate I was telling you about, Bo."

Akaashi felt awkward under the stare of the stranger, his golden eyes seeping into him. Akaashi noted the muscles through his tight shirt. That's all he has to say. (There was so much more he wanted to say. But his gay was showing). Kuroo cleared his throat and the strangers stare turned into a wide grin.

"Hey, hey, hey!! Koutarou Bokuto. Nice to have a face to the name. Kuroo's been talking about you a lot, Akaashi."

He tipped his head, "Likewise."

"Your name is so pretty. Did you know my name means 'thick owl'? I mean, I may not live up to it as much as yours but I kinda look like an owl, right?!"

Akaashi nodded, "Your hair is interesting."

"Right?!" Bokuto stepped forward and whispered, "I'm way better the Kuroo, by the way."

"Liar!"

"I'm sure I can decide for myself," Akaashi said, "But you're probably right,"

"Akaashi?!"

Bokuto laughed, "I know I'm right. I default the amazingest."

"Shut up, you annoying owl!!"

"Well, I apo-owl-gise,"

"Ughhh!"

owl puns, Akaashi thought, that's who the book belongs too.

"I ban you from talking to my roommate," Kuroo said, "Your idiot is contagious!"

"Bro, you can't do that!!" Bokuto shouted, "He can't do that, right Akaashi?!"

"I agree with Bokuto-san, he can't-"

"Bokuto-san? No honorifics, Bokuto is fine." Bokuto turned up his nose.

"But you're older than me, I assume. It would be rude."

"Noooo, it's fineee." Bokuto grinned, "You're so polite," he got smacked on the back of the head, "Ow!!"

"Shut up, I said you can't talk to him," Kuroo said.

"Or what?!"

"I won't come to the party."

A flash of hurt flashed through Bokuto's eyes, "Our party?" he said, "Fine, don't come. But I'll still take Akashi."

"It's Akaashi-"

"I told you, you can't hang out with him," Kuroo said, "You're banned."

"He's comin' with me, bro."

"Don't you dare 'bro' me. I'm mad at you."

"Kuroo," Bokuto moaned, "Broooo,"

"No,"

"Come on, I'll take care of Akashi, I promise. We'll meet you there."

"Akaashi-"

"Fine, I'll go by myself."

"Fine,"

"Fine."

Akaashi furrowed his brows. What the hell just happened?

Kuroo turned to him, "You go with Bo, Akaashi. I'll meet you there."

"What?" This was the first time his voice wasn't drowned out in the arguing, "No, I'll go with you."

Kuroo smirked at Bokuto, "See!! Akaashi likes me more!" He stuck his tongue out.

"You've known him longer! Let me take him! I wanna get to know him better!"

"Well originally, I asked him to go with me!!"

Bokuto poured, "Akgaashi." He whined, "Come with me,"

"It's Akaashi."

Bokuto tilted his head, "Akaashi?"

"Yes?"

"Come with me?"

Akaashi looked to Kuroo then sighed, "Okay."

Bokuto grinned before yanking his arm, "Come on, let's go!!" He pulled Akaashi away, "Thanks, Kuroo! I owe you one!!"

"You do, dumbass!"

"Love ya, bro!"

Kuroo waved and Akaashi waved back as he got pulled down the corridor.

~

Akaashi considers himself a fairly intelligent human being. So it's sometimes difficult to grasp how he's able to surround himself with idiots.

"You're telling me..." Akaashi had his head in his hands. The car had stopped a while ago, "On the way to your own home, you've managed to get us lost?"

Bokuto had his head on the steering wheel, "I'm sorry, Akaashi. I'm really really sorry."

"Look, don't worry-"

"Well, I am going to worry!" Bokuto whined, "I wanted to make a good impression on you and I was having fun cuz you were actually listening to me and people don't usually do that and-" Bokuto paused, "I'm sorry,"

Akaashi sighed then said, "Look, why don't we just go the way we came?"

Bokuto lifted his head, "The way we came..." he looked out the window and around the street, "I... I don't remember..."

"You've forgotten?"

Bokuto nodded, a furrow in his brow.

"I'll direct you," Akaashi said, "I remember."

"Really?"

Akaashi hummed and he saw a weak smile come onto Bokuto's face.

"You're the best, Akgashi-"

"-Akaashi-"

"Kuroo would have shouted and called me an idiot if he were here."

"Well, I'm not Kuroo-san."

Bokuto twisted the key into the ignition and listened without talking as Akaashi directed him.

It came as a relief to him when they spotted the college and Bokuto could drive to his house normally n

"Oh! I forgot to mention. Kuroo told me you play volleyball!" Bokuto said.

"Played," Akaashi said, "I don't anymore."

Bokuto's eyes flickered to him for just a moment before they went back onto the road, "Why though?" he said, "I love volleyball! I'm on a sports degree at college and I wanna go pro after! Back in high school, I was the captain and the ace!! How cool is that, Akaashi? Isn't it cool?"

"Very,"

"We'd go to nationals and everything! God, I miss high school. Hey, what position did you play?"

"Setter,"

"That's so cool! My roommate used to be a setter as well! All of us should play one day! Me, you, Kenma and Kuroo. Tooru and Iwaizumi can play too! We can do three aside, whatcha say?"

Akaashi hesitated, "I'm not sure, I haven't played in a while."

"That's fine! Why can't we have a go? It'll be fun!"

"I guess,"

Bokuto's grin went from cheek to cheek, "Great!" He said, then had a thoughtful look on his face. 

"What's wrong?" Akaashi asked.

"Mmh? Nothing," Bokuto replied, a sheepish smile on his face, "I guess I should convince Kenma before we make any plans,"

Akaashi nearly laughed, "Good luck with that,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'what is this, i see? an attractive human? feelings i have? disgusting.' - Keiji Akaashi 2k21. 
> 
> also, i dare u to tell me that Bokuto wouldn't get lost on the way to his own house if he's distracted by a certain pretty someone. help this poor boi. 

**Author's Note:**

> hi! it's the wonderful author-chan here!! welcome to another self-indulged bokuaka story that fills me serotonin! i genuinely loved writing this, and i drafted and redrafted so MANY times and this is the outcome cuz i knew that if i enjoyed writing it people would enjoy reading it. so, yeah! 
> 
> i hope you enjoyed and im going out of my way so this fic isn't angsty (well compared to my other ones anyway *nervously laughs*) 
> 
> THANK YOU FOR READING!! 


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